6/16/05
While Debbie, Tyler and Benny were driving through Iowa in their Rip City Baseball Team caravan of 7 vehicles en-route to a tournament in Nebraska, something happened to the Newsome’s SUV causing it to go out of control. The Van flipped multiple times, crossed over oncoming traffic on I-80 and came to rest in a ditch. Debbie was severely injured sustaining a broken neck, broken knee and broken wrist. Tyler broke his left hand and Benny’s head injuries were fatal.
They were all taken to Genesis Hospital in Davenport Iowa were a decision was made to fly Debbie to the University of Iowa Hospital. Tim accompanied Tyler to University of Iowa in an ambulance. He was released later that night.
6/17/05
Surgery was performed on Debbie’s knee. It was in bad shape, but she is expected to recover.
6/18/05
Debbie’s brother Don Flood arrived in Chicago from Paris. He picked up the Newsome’s 7-year-old daughter Abby and brought her to Iowa where Tim had to break the unfortunate news to her.
6/19/05
Debbie had surgery on her broken neck. The Dr. had to fuse 5 bones together with a metal plate. The surgery was a success.
6/20/05
The doctors remove the breathing tube from Debbie and she is able to communicate to her family for the first time.
6/21/05
Debbie looks much better. She was able to sit up for a few minutes for the first time.
6/22/05
by Tim Newsome
First of all, again I would like to thank everyone for their help and support through this whole situation. You have no idea how much that means to me and my family. Just knowing how many people care makes us all feel just a little bit better. I am sending this email to those of you who are in Deb's address book on her computer. Please feel free to forward it to anyone else that you think Deb might need to see it. Jim Newsome is also working on setting up a web site (along with doing everything else), www.bennynewsome.com, it will be where there will be more updates and things. Anyway, Deb is doing much better. She sat up on the edge of the bed twice yesterday and may be sitting in a chair sometime today. She is supposed to be getting moved out of the ICU and into the burn unit today (no burns just a higher level of care than a regular room). Her broken foot will not require any surgery, just a walking boot, her knee has been repaired and is in a big brace, her neck has been fused from c3 to c7 and she is wearing a brace that goes down to her belly button (will wear for at least 2 months), her left wrist was examined and an additional CAT scan was done to determine if surgery is necessary (should know today). Her spirits have been pretty good but it's been like a bad roller coaster ride for all of us. Tyler is being examined by an orthopedist today to determine if the broken bone in his hand will require surgery or just a cast. Brett, Tyler, Abby, my mother in law, father in law, Brett's girl Aubry, John and Irene Pietrowski are here in Iowa today. Jim Newsome and Jeff Massaro have been here from day 1 and just left yesterday afternoon. Deb's brother, Donny was here (flew in from Paris) and Steve Kmiec (Primetime) were here and left 2 days ago. Also several other visitors (Terry, Randy and Larry Starosta, the Jonas', Deb's godchild and her family, Pappas', Vusckos, Ty's friends, etc.) and a ton of calls and emails. I'm sorry if you have called and I have not called back. If I'm in with Deb I can't use my phone and sometimes it's difficult to call back.
Don't know when we'll be home or when arrangements for Benny will be. Benny is at home and being cared for there. I miss him more than words can describe. We will never be the same.
PLEASE do not send flowers. We are trying to set up a memorial fund or something in Benny's name to help other children and their families. Flowers are beautiful but will only end up in the garbage. Please tell everyone that. We really want to do something good for others in Benny's name and he would want it that way too. NO FLOWERS!
We love and miss all of you and thank you again for everything (e-mails, pictures, calls, etc.)
Love, The Newsome Family
If I didn't mention you by name or I forgot something I'm sorry, everything is a bit of a blur.
06/23/05 Just a quick update to let you know where we are at today. Deb is doing much better. She was moved to the ortho floor and is in a regular room. The service/attention is not the same as in the ICU but she is trying to get used to it. Deb was able to sit up again several times and actually stood up for about a minute using a walker and the help of the physical therapists (I held her gown in place). There may be an update on the time table for us to be able to come home. I am working with Jimmy Newsome and Ron Ramos from my office to keep the web site updated (actually THEY ARE DOING ALL THE WORK). It is www.bennynewsome.com and is a work in progress, please forgive if I don't have the time yet to help them make it better and give more info. However, please pass this on to everyone as it will make communication with all at home much easier.
Tyler had a follow up appt. yesterday to look at his hand and he is doing nicely. He'll be looked at when we get home and should be healed up in about 4 weeks.
My mother and father in law are both here as well as Brett, Tyler and Abby. We are trying to stick together and love one another and support one another to get through this. I still can't believe this has happened. I miss him so much. He was such a joy to be around.
Thank you all again for everything. The support has been unbelievable. My family and I appreciate everything and love all of you. We hope to see you soon.
06/24/05 Better news. Deb is doing much better and is being transferred to the Rehabilitation Floor at Loyola Hospital in Maywood today. The kids will be driving back with my in-laws and I will be riding in the ambulance with Deb. Please keep checking the web-site for updates on Deb and arrangements for Benny. It's easier to communicate with all that way. Thanks to each and every one of you for your continued love and support.
12:30pm Debbie arrived at Loyola today at Noon. She is very busy with her rehab and will not be taking calls at this time. The Dr. has given her clearance to attend Benny's Services on Tuesday. We are in the process of making arrangements and will post details on the Home page very soon.
06/24/05 by Tim Newsome
During her recovery, any close family and friends please feel free to call Deb at Loyola Medical Center 708-216-7250 Room 5343.
07/01/05 by Tim Newsome
Dear friends and family,
Thank you all for the tremendous amount of support you have given our family. During the most difficult time imaginable, everyone has been so great, it is truly overwhelming. It was estimated that approximately 2,000 people attended Benny’s wake and another 600 attended his funeral. I know many of you waited 2 hours to pay your respects and I want you all to know how much that means to us. Words cannot describe our gratitude. We truly have the greatest friends, family and community anyone could ask for. The support has been unbelievable. So far there has already been over $12,000 raised in Benny’s name and over 18,000 “hits” on his web-site. What a tribute to such a wonderful young man. It just goes to show how much of an impact he made on people in such a short period of time. He really did live life to the fullest and enjoyed every minute of it. Benny was a special boy. He made this world a better place. Even in his absence, with the Memorial Fund and the support of everyone, we will try to continue to make the world a little better place in his honor. Please help to spread the word about this fund and I promise we will put the money raised to good use. Thank you again, from the bottom of our hearts. We love all of you and appreciate everything you have and continue to do for us (I’m gonna be 300 pounds if I keep eating all the great food people have been sending over). Also, thank you for the heart-felt messages people have been leaving in the web-site guest book. God bless.
Love,
The Newsome Family
P.S. Deb will be coming home from the hospital on Friday, July 1st. What a trooper!
July 7, 2005 by Tim Newsome
Dear Friends and Family:
We just wanted to thank all of you again for the unbelievable amount of support we continue to receive. So many people have been stopping by to visit (Deb loves it 'cause it's still difficult for her to get out much), preparing meals for our family, bringing over snacks, sending cards, letters, e-mails etc., etc. Once again, I have to tell you it is truly overwhelming. The Benny Newsome Memorial Fund continues to grow as well. At last check, there has been almost $15,000 in donations made in Benny's honor with over 21,000 "hits" on the web-site. Thank you all so much for your generosity!
We are trying to thank each of you individually but please understand the number of people who attended the wake, funeral, made donations, sent cards, flowers, etc. is a bit staggering. That's why we are trying to continue to use the web-site as a means of communicating with all of our friends and family.
Also, if anyone did not recieve a prayer card at the wake (we ran out and ordered more) please stop by our house and pick one up. The guest books were accidentally combined and we can't tell who did not recieve a prayer card.
Recovery Update: Tyler had his hand examined and was placed in a removeable brace for another 3-4 weeks. He is doing great and healing fine and will be throwing fastballs and hitting home runs (well, maybe doubles) in no time. Deb saw the doctor today. She is going to have her wrist cast, knee brace and neck brace on for another 4 weeks. She is doing great with her physical therapy at home and is able to walk for short periods without a walker (she cut her time walking to the corner down from 26 minutes to 12 minutes). She is truly remarkable and as tough as nails.
Thank you all again for everything. We miss Benny more than words can describe. I still can't believe this is all real and we'll never see him again. I miss coaching him and watching him out on the field. I especially miss our rides home together. But thanks to all of you, we will somehow be able to get through this.
Love,
The Newsomes
July 18, 2005
Dear Friends and Family:
Thank you to all of you who have said or written how much you enjoy the web-site and getting updates on how things are going (almost 25,000 “hits”). It makes us feel better knowing that everyone cares so much about us and how we’re doing as a family. I can honestly say I really don’t know where we would be without such great support, love and friendship.
Recovery Update: Tyler’s hand is healing great. The doctor gave him the go-ahead to start lifting weights, using his left hand more and squeezing a ball or silly putty to help get strength back. He should be able to start throwing and playing again in a couple of weeks. Deb is getting more and more feeling back in her knee and foot (sometimes that’s not so great ‘cause she can feel more pain also). She is making record time on her daily walks to the corner, down our block. She can bend her knee to just past 45 degrees. A physical therapist is still coming to the house 3 times a week and Deb’s dad or I do the exercises she has to do twice a day on the other days. She is working very hard to get better. Hopefully in a few weeks (after we see the doctor, July 27th) she’ll have her wrist cast off, her neck brace off (or at least be able to have a smaller one fitted) and knee brace adjusted so she can bend her leg more.
The Benny Newsome Memorial Fund is up to well over $16,000. Your generosity continues to amaze me. Thank you so much. We don’t yet have a definite plan for the money raised however; I promise we will do something good for other families in need and/or something baseball/basketball related in his honor.
Thank you again to all of you for the many, many cards, e-mails, letters, posts in the guestbook on the web-site (over 600), visits to the house, meals, snacks (please, easy on the sweets, I love them but my waist-line doesn’t), etc., etc. You are the best group of friends and family anyone could ask for.
It’s now been a little over a month since the accident. I still keep waiting for Benny to somehow show up and tell me that all of this has just been a bad dream. I miss watching him out on the baseball field more than anything. Watching him run and head-first slide and dive for baseballs was the best. I miss walking with him after the game and I especially miss our time together talking about life in our rides home. What a great young man he was. Thank you all again for everything, but most of all thank you for not forgetting about Benny! I love you and miss you Boop. Come see me in my dreams.
Love,
The Newsomes
July 27, 2005 by Deb Newsome
Not that this really needs to be said but most people who know us know that I am the talker in the family and Tim is the writer. I kept thinking that if I waited long enough I would think of the perfect thing to write about my Benny. Not so, as it has been 6 weeks now since that awful day.
I love Benny so much and I miss him more than anyone can imagine. He was not only a wonderful son; he was a good person. Never ever did that sweet boy walk into the house and not come directly to me and kiss me right on the lips. Never did he say goodbye to me on the phone without saying he loved me. Every day he would ask if there was anything he could do to help me.
I don’t think that Benny was ever even grounded, if you can believe that. He never talked back, never even rolled his eyes at us. He looked up to his brothers and adored his little sister. He thought his dad walked on water. He lived to make his dad proud of him, which I know he did everyday.
My only saving grace in this horrible mess is that I have no regrets. Although it was unbelievably short, I know Benny had a wonderful life. I know that because Tim would ask him and he would always say “dad I love my life, I have a great life.” Tim was an awesome dad to Benny and I tried to be the best mom I could be.
We have the best friends and family anyone could ask for. No words to thank everyone for all you have done for us.
Love, Deb
August 8, 2005
It’s been almost 2 months since the accident now. I keep hoping that the sorrow and grief we are feeling will get better or at least subside a little bit. It’s not. As a matter of fact, I think now that reality has started to settle in, the feelings of loss for Benny are actually getting worse (I honestly didn’t think that was possible). The reason I’m writing this is I hope everyone understands how difficult this is and if we don’t come to a party or answer the door/phone or if I break down in mid-sentence I’m sorry. We really are trying to do our best but it’s hard; the hardest thing imaginable. Please stick with us, like all our friends and family have and we’ll keep trying our best to cope.
I’ve started going through some video tapes of Benny when he was younger (pre-Abby) and actually forgot how much of a little character he was and how high-pitched his little voice was. Although it’s painful, it’s still great to see him running around and to hear his little voice (I can’t believe how deep his voice got compared to when he was a little guy). What a joy that little boy was and what a fine young man he had become. We miss him more and more each day. I think it’s getting tougher as the start of school approaches and his birthday gets closer (August 22nd). More unwanted doses of reality.
Recovery Update: Tyler is getting better every day. His hand is just about fully healed. He still has some soreness to the touch but that has not stopped him from working out every day. He’s started throwing a baseball lightly and hopefully he’ll be able to start playing baseball again in the fall. Deb had her wrist cast removed and replaced with a removable brace. She has also had her full neck brace reduced to only a cervical collar. Her knee brace is adjusted so she can bend it 45 degrees when she walks (she can bend it about 70 degrees on her own with no brace). Deb walks at least a mile every day in the parking lot behind our house and another mile or so in our pool. She’s really working hard to get better and be able to get around by herself. No vacuuming yet.
Anyway, there has been almost 28,000 “hits” on Benny’s web-site so far. There has been almost $20,000 raised in Benny’s name. Just know some day this money will be put to good use to honor Benny. The amount of support our family has received continues to amaze me. We have the greatest friends and family in the world. Thank you all for everything. Moms and dads, please give your kids one extra hug from us every night, as a way to keep thinking about Benny always. Man, I miss that guy!
Love,
The Newsomes
August 22, 2005
Today is Benny’s birthday. He would have been 14 years old. It is also the day before what would have been his first day of school. Brett will be going off to Western Michigan University on the 27th, Tyler starts back at Marist today, and Abby is back at Chippewa tomorrow. This is an especially tough time for the whole family.
We have had and continue to have a lot of visitors and people taking great care of us. Thank you to those of you who have taken the time to tell us your Benny stories, whether in person or by writing us letters or signing the guest book on the web-site. I can’t tell you how much it means to us. All we have are our own memories (plus some videos of when he was a whacky little kid) and the stories we hear about him from his friends, teachers, coaches, etc.
Benny loved his time during the summer to play and hang out with all of his friends. However, he also always looked forward to going back to school (not the homework part) and seeing friends he didn’t get to see but especially seeing his teachers and coaches again. We have a great group of teachers in our district and he truly loved each and every one. Thanks to all of you for taking such good care of our boy and helping to make him the wonderful young man he had become.
Recovery Update: Tyler’s hand seems to be fully healed now. He has been able to throw without any pain and has begun hitting, also without any pain. He continues to work out and should be 100% for fall baseball. Deb is doing great. The doctor gave her the go-ahead to remove her knee brace and wrist brace for good! She is weaning herself off the neck brace and should be completely out of it by the weekend. She will be able to drive in another week or so. She walks in the parking lot behind our house, without the brace, over a mile a day and another half hour or so in the pool. Both she and Tyler have really worked hard to get better. I’m very proud of them.
Ever day I either visit Benny’s grave site and/or talk to him while I’m on the treadmill or driving in the car. It gets harder and harder because I just miss him so much and it’s starting to sink in that he’s not coming back. My chest literally hurts all the time. I’m sure that’s what a broken heart really means. He was the greatest son a dad and mom could ask for and the greatest brother too. Happy Birthday, Bro. We miss you and love you more than anything. Thank you all for everything.
Love,
The Newsomes
September 6, 2005
I hope everyone had a safe and fun Labor Day weekend. I’m sure everyone could use the break after all of the stress involved with getting the kids back to school. Our family went to my in-laws summer home in Watervliet, Michigan to spend a couple of days and attend their annual Labor Day party on Sunday. This was really tough for us because it was another one of those “firsts” without Benny. He loved this party because he was in charge of driving my in-laws friends all around in the golf cart. He especially loved it because they tipped him well. He also loved the bean-bag tournament which he pretty much dominated every year (at least that’s what he would tell you). Abby picked up the slack this year and made $53 in tips, serving food and drinks (mostly Jell-O shots).
Recovery update: Tyler is doing great. His hand is healing just fine. He doesn’t have all his strength back yet but he doesn’t have any soreness either. He keeps working hard to get back into top baseball condition. Deb is also doing great. She is able to drive now and therefore has been going to physical therapy at Loyola, on 95th and Roberts Rd. She is walking much better but her knee and neck are still really sore. She keeps working hard to get herself back to where she was (sometimes she works too hard and over-does it). She actually even started going back to work for a couple of hours a few times a week, not to mention what she does out of the house.
Thank you all for your continued support. There has been almost $21,000 raised for the Benny Newsome Memorial Fund and over 31,000 “hits on his web-site, with almost 700 sign-ins in the guest book. I couldn’t even guess at the number of phone calls, letters,
e-mails, meals, snacks, etc. that everyone has contributed. We truly have the greatest group of friends and family anyone could ever hope for.
Keep giving your kids that one extra hug from us and Benny every single night (kids, you can also give your parents an extra hug too). We miss Benny more than anything. We miss that smile/smirk and that great sense of humor. I miss the way he could light up a room and I really miss him calling me “Bro”. I really miss that.
Love,
The Newsomes
September 21, 2005
It’s been just over 3 months now since the accident. I know a lot of people are still checking the site periodically to see how things are going so I will do my best to keep updating it every couple of weeks. We just added some new pictures about a week ago that are really nice.
The first donation made by the Benny Newsome Memorial Fund was for $1,300 (Benny of course was #13) to the Salvation Army, for assistance with the Hurricane Katrina relief effort. I’m sure there will be many more causes like this where we can help others out and put this money to good use. If anyone has any other good causes, please feel free to contact me. I know that’s what Benny would want.
Benny’s great-grampa died last week. My gramps was 93 years old. Many of you knew him because he was at all of my baseball games from when I was a little kid all the way through college. When he visited us (he lived in Arizona the last few years) he loved spending time with the kids and watching the boys play baseball. I hope he and Benny are together taking care of one another. I miss those guys so much.
Recovery update: Tyler is doing great. He’s back playing baseball regularly and although he doesn’t have all of his arm strength back, he is pain free. His first day back, he hit a double off the center field fence and a home run at Oak Forest High School (always the proud dad). Deb is doing great. She still has a lot of pain in her knee and neck but she keeps on going (sometimes too much). She has started back to selling real estate and is doing very well.
We had a meeting at Independence to talk about some of the things the school wanted to do to remember Benny. It was so nice but also so hard to talk about and think about Benny not being there. Every time I go to a baseball game or even watch one on TV I think of Benny. I miss seeing him play and do that trademark, head first slide. I miss watching him take off that uniform and the pile of dirt that would be left on the laundry room floor (Deb started making him take off his uniform in the garage). Mostly, I just miss being around him and having all of the kids around the house. I miss talking to him about his day and just life in general. I miss that smile/smirk so bad.
Thanks to all of you who continue to be there for us. As bad as this is, there is no way we could get through this without everyone’s support and love. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Don’t ever forget those extra hugs!
Love, The Newsomes
October 6, 2005
On Friday, November 18th, Independence Junior High School (Benny’s school) will be hosting a “B-Ball for Ben” basketball game. The game will feature members of the IJHS and Palos South basketball teams. All proceeds from the game will go towards the “Benny Newsome Spirit Scholarship”, to be given annually to two graduating IJHS students. There is a link on this site with more information on how to obtain tickets and/or make donations for the silent auction or raffle that will be part of this event. It should be a nice event for the whole family.
B-Ball for Ben Info and Donation Form - Click Here
Recovery updates: Tyler is doing better all the time. He’s pretty much pain free and is back doing all of his normal activities, especially playing a lot of baseball. Deb has been given clearance from her doctor to resume pretty much normal activities as pain allows (her knee is still pretty sore especially when she overdoes it). Tyler is done with the doctor and Deb doesn’t have to go back for another 3 months.
Anyway, thanks to all of you for your continued love and support. Without all of our friends and family I don’t know where we’d be. It’s so nice when people stop by to see us and how we are doing. It’s really nice when some of Benny’s friends stop by and visit and spend time with Abby as well. The cheerleader girl’s have really taken Abby under their wings and taken great care of her. She loves hanging out with the big girls.
I’ve had a couple of dreams about Benny over the last couple of weeks. One in particular seemed so real. He was talking to me and hugging me. I didn’t want to wake up because it was so nice to see him and hear him talking to me. As time goes on it seems like it is getting tougher and tougher and more and more real. I miss that guy so much. Please remember to give that extra hug every night!
Love, The Newsomes
November 21, 2005
What a wonderful event the B-Ball for Benny Charity Basketball game turned out to be. Over $21,000 was raised to fund the Benny Newsome Spirit Scholarship. This scholarship will be given to two students (one boy and one girl) every year, who best exemplify what Benny was all about.
I cannot begin to tell you what a wonderful School District, PFA and entire community we have. For so many people to volunteer their time and energy to put on an event like this is truly remarkable. Thank you all for everything.
When I first walked in the gym and saw all of the players warming up before the game, I just couldn’t take it. It was the first time I have been to our gym without seeing Benny out there playing. As I watched my other two sons out there, I couldn’t help but think how much Benny would love to have been out there with his big brothers on the same floor, playing in the same game. I know how much he would like to have been on the other team just so he could talk trash to them. It was always me and Benny vs. Brett and Tyler when we played in the back of our house and he was always talking trash! It was so hard not seeing him out there, playing with all of his friends but it was so nice to see his friends out there playing for him. I’m sure it was hard on all of you who played as well.
I really don’t know what else to say other than thank you from the bottom of our hearts. The love and support you give us is amazing.
It is going to be very sad without Benny during the Holiday season. I don’t even want to think about it. I miss him more and more each day. Please have a safe and happy Thanksgiving. Enjoy the time with your family! Please, keep giving those extra hugs for Benny.
Love, The Newsome’s
P.S. Happy Birthday to Deb who turned forty-something today!
December 22, 2005
My family and I would like to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and a happy and healthy New Year. The last six months have been the worst of times for our family. However, during times like these you really find out who your friends are. We have really found out how lucky we are to have such great friends and to be part of such a terrific community. I have said it and written it many times; I honestly don’t know where we would be without all of your love and support.
Thank you for helping our family get through this. All of the phone calls, letters, cards, meals, goodies, donations, visits, the cheerleaders taking Abby under their wings. All of it has really been unbelievable and a bit overwhelming. Thank you all from the bottom of our hearts. It is a real testament to how much everyone loved Benny.
Everyone knows what a terrific young man Benny was and how many people he touched. I really believe he continues to touch all of us each and every day. Maybe it’s the way you treat your kids or your parents, maybe it’s that you laugh a little bit more or try to spend more time with your family. Maybe it’s giving that extra hug every night before bed. Whatever it is, I hope everyone remembers Benny and how special he was and how special he tried to treat everyone.
Christmas won’t be the same without him. I miss him more and more each day. Enjoy the Holiday Season and give that extra hug for Benny. And again, thank you for everything!
Love, The Newsome’s
January 30, 2006
I’m sorry I haven’t updated the web-site for awhile. I don’t know how often people check it any more but based on the guestbook entries and the number of “hits” (over 40,000) I guess people still like to see what’s going on.
As you might imagine, the holidays were pretty rough for the entire family. There are a lot of “firsts” without Benny but I’d have to say not having him there for the holidays was the worst. I missed watching him open his gifts, especially the new baseball bat he would get every year. Then missed listening to he and his brothers “discuss” who got the coolest bat for Christmas.
I had a meeting with two wonderful women from the Make-A-Wish Foundation last week. We discussed possible ways we could use some of the money in the Benny Newsome Memorial Fund to help grant wishes to children with life-threatening conditions. I think that’s something Benny would like. They also suggested doing an annual benefit, maybe in the fall, to help remember Benny and keep the Memorial Fund going. That sounded like a nice idea to me. Nothing is definite yet, so if anyone has any suggestions or would like to be a part of a committee to help organize things please let me know.
Once again, thank you to everyone who continues to think about us and check on us. I’d like to say things are getting easier but they’re not. However, all of the love and support from everyone really does help. Don’t forget to keep giving those extra hugs for Benny.
Love, The Newsome’s
March 28, 2006
Sorry it’s been a while since I last updated the web-site. Check for and please pass on to others, there are some new pictures just recently posted here.
I had a dream about Benny last night. We were hanging out with the rest of the family just kind of goofing around and then he and I were alone sitting on the couch just talking. He looked up at me smiling as big as ever and we talked and his face was just glowing, not a scratch on it. I held him in my arms and kissed him right on the lips (that same kiss that Deb loved so much). He must have known I needed to see him because I really was having a bad day yesterday. I guess a lot has to do with baseball season coming up or his basketball team being in the playoffs or a million other things that make me miss him more and more every day. Anyway, as usual that smile made me feel better if only for a little while.
The following is a copy of an e-mail Dana Boulukos (Benny’s science teacher and friend) sent to Deb. Things like this are so heart-warming and give us much needed feelings that Benny made a difference with the people whose lives he touched.
Hello All,
This October, I will be grateful for the opportunity to run the
Marathon in Ben Newsome's honor. With each day I am given, I am constantly reminded that the way he lived his life is a source of inspiration and motivation for me and countless others. To honor him and his daily gifts, I am raising funds for his Memorial Fund which donates to many worthy causes. The donations that are raised in his honor will go towards Make-a-Wish Foundation. On that day, I fully expect to run in classic Ben fashion - fearlessly,
risking it all, producing my best effort and having nothing left when it's all over; I will take it all in, show my joy and appreciation for each moment, and give EVERYTHING and when there's nothing left, I'll find a way to give more. The mere thought of it warms me. I am having some kids help me pick out my shirt that I'll wear and what I will put on it.
I hope that we will talk again soon. And again, I'd like to eat good food with you again ASAP.
Love, Dana
Thanks again to all of you for your continued support. Hope to see you around the ball park soon.
Love, The Newsome’s
06/01/06
Today is the anniversary of the day Benny was taken from us. This has been a very difficult year for our family and the entire community. Things like this are just not supposed to happen. It is still hard for all of us to believe this actually has happened.
The College World Series is starting today in Omaha, Nebraska. That’s where Benny, Deb and Tyler were on their way when the accident occurred. When Deb was in the hospital, we would sit and watch the games together. We started watching some of the preliminary games this past week and it really brought back a lot of sad feelings.
All I know is Benny was truly one-of-a-kind. He was handsome, smart, athletic, loving, caring, compassionate, funny, mischievous and just an all-around good person. He had the greatest smile of all-time and was always in a good mood. He NEVER had a bad day, ever! That’s what I miss the most; his smile and the great attitude he always had. If there is something to learn from all this I guess it would be to live life to the fullest. Realize the most important things in life are the relationships you have with your family and with your friends. When all is said and done, that’s how your life will be measured; by how many people love you and care about you. I know how many people love and care about Benny. Thank you all for your continued support. Thanks for not forgetting about Benny. Benny, we love you and miss you more than you’ll ever know. Come and see me in my dreams, bro.
08/22/06
Today would have been Benny’s 15th birthday. It’s hard to believe it’s been over a year since the accident and this is the second birthday without him. Benny would have just been starting his freshman year at Marist this week. I really wish he could have been able to drive back and forth to school with Tyler but I wish even more they could have played fall baseball together at Marist. I’m sure they would have wound up on opposite teams just so they could do more good-natured trash talking to each other. I’d give anything to see those guys on the field together.
Good luck to everyone on a new school year, especially to those of you from Benny’s class who are just starting High School. Enjoy these years. They go by fast. Thanks to all of you for your continued support.
Happy Birthday, bro. We miss you and love you. Come see me in my dreams.
10/16/06
Deb,
I want to thank you for being so supportive when I asked if I could run in Ben's honor on this Sunday. I have found this endeavor to be incredibly uplifting and I feel so fortunate to have undertaken this. As of today, the total amount going towards Ben's Memorial Fund is $1800, approximately $70 per mile. I fully plan on trying my best and giving this my all. I expect people to be saying Ben's name throughout the course as it is on my shirt (see below) and I'm looking forward to all the emotions that will be involved. I am excited. I am full of anticipation. I am blessed. To have known Ben, to have observed his interaction with ALL students, to have enjoyed his company and to have been his teacher and friend were very special gifts to me. Gifts I will never take for granted. Gifts I will never forget. Please know that you will be in my heart on Sunday as you are on every day. And Ben will be with me EVERY step of the way on Sunday and for the rest of my life.
Love,
Dana
11/06/06
Hi everyone,
I want to thank you for your support, encouragement and especially your
faith in me. For people like me, doing a marathon is ALL about the support
you get from others. It's because of people like you that people like me
are able to achieve these endeavors. The energy I was given by everyone was
the ONLY thing that kept me going.
I wanted to share a few fun moments with you:
For those of you who were there and had the fortune (or misfortune) of
seeing me, I apologize profusely for my slobbering kisses (Heather and Beth
especially). I missed seeing my mom, brother, and my niece, Courtney
unfortunately. Thank you everyone who was there: Rhiannon (WE DID IT!),
Diane, Cely, Vanessa, Courtney, Randy, Kristina, Beth, Melissa, Catherine,
Sarah, Gina, Julie, Heather, Carolyn, Mark, John, Deb, Donna, Abby, Taylor,
Mike, Amanda and LESLIE!
I saw Amanda and the Callas and Stone families with their yellow balloons
and great signs!
I saw all my pals in Lakeview who were staggered so I got to see so many
people over MANY blocks.
I waved at all the people in the elders' home on Sheridan. One woman was
blowing me kisses and jumping up and down with a huge smile on her face.
I'm sure I gave over 500 high fives to little children. I got to hit the
Notre Dame "Run like a Champion Today" sign three times. I helped a man up
when he slipped on one of the many banana peels in Pilsen.
At mile 16 I got to see my coworkers (I couldn't tell who was who for a
while - I'm so sorry!).
At mile 17, the sun came out and just after that I saw the Miss B sign that
Taylor made for me. I hugged Mrs. Newsome and Abby and told them I loved
them. I hugged Taylor and thanked her for all her help. I picked up Abby
and told her I liked her hair (see pics below).
Following this, a very interesting thing happened that I find remarkable.
As I turned onto 18th St. from Ashland, the side of my foot was really
hurting me. As all of you know, I am a very emotional person - I cry all
the time. When it comes to physical pain, I rarely cry, but my foot hurt so
bad, I was indeed crying - more because it made doubts start creep into my
mind. I was avoiding the banana peels at that point, crying very audibly
and listening to a song that makes me cry anyway. I looked directly to my
left at a 90 degree angle and immediately saw a restaurant named "Benny's
Pizza."
Now, I have been down that street a thousand times and I have never seen
that place. I guess I could say that I was surprised about looking over and
seeing something with "Benny" on it, but I can't. So many times while I was
training, very unusual, unexpected things happened that made me think that
Ben was with me.
And after seeing that "sign", I was rejuvenated. I went into Chinatown
feeling like I could conquer anything.
I got to my Bridgeport hood at 33rd and Wentworth where my friends helped me
take off my pants (I had shorts on). The rest of the way wasn't easy, but
it was uplifting. I kept reminding myself that this was so great. You see,
Ben always told me "Ms. B. this is the best thing ever. This is the
greatest etc" even when it was the simplest activity. I tried to run with
the same level of enthusiasm.
I tried to cheer on as many people as I could. At the end I found myself
finishing the way I finished all the training runs (picking it up at the end
with the all-out sprint in the last 200 meters that I tell the track girls
to always do, the way Ben finished all of his runs). I didn't want it to
end, but this time I didn't feel the letdown of my goal coming to end.
I could not have hoped for or envisioned a better day. I left everything I
had out on that course and I can say that it was my best effort without a
doubt. I smiled most of the time. I talked to strangers and laughed and
patted people on the back and clapped and pumped my fists and waved and
joked around and told all my people that I loved them. I ran it like Ben
would have run it - just the way I wanted to.
I think of how children will benefit from the money we raised. They will
see their wishes granted and I smile. I think of how Ben would have been
elated to know that his spirit is alive and well in all who knew him and
time cannot make that fade away.
And my last thought is, I have to find more things and more ways to spend
days where I can say "This is the best thing ever" just as Ben did.
Thank you everyone! Love, Dana
04/02/07
Published in the Chicago Sun Times April 2nd, 2007
Family won't let tragedy detour dreams
(http://www.suntimes.com/sports/preps/322695,CST-SPT-tina02.article)
BY TINA AKOURIS Staff Reporter
What a great kid. That's what I told Marist baseball coach Joel Jonas after speaking with senior left-handed pitcher Tyler Newsome the other day. After what Newsome has been through in his high school years, it is a joy to listen to someone with such a positive outlook on life.
Newsome's younger brother, Benny, was killed in a car accident on June 16, 2005, and his mother, Deb, was seriously injured.
Newsome, who was going into his junior year at the time, was in the car and pretty much saw the whole thing.
''It turned out to be the worst day ever,'' Newsome said. ''My brain turned it off. I just remember when I came to, I thought I was in a dream.''
Tyler Newsome was a passenger in an SUV that was part of a seven-vehicle caravan traveling on I-80 in Iowa. The group was headed to the College World Series in Omaha, Neb., where Tyler's summer team would be playing in a tournament.
Tyler, who was sitting in the back seat, doesn't remember exactly what happened, but the SUV somehow lost control and was in a rollover accident. His mother suffered a broken neck, knee and wrist.
Doctors at an Iowa hospital told Newsome that Benny, 13, had died of head injuries in the crash. But Newsome already had a feeling that was the case after seeing his brother at the accident scene.
''I knew he was not OK,'' Newsome said. ''I knew right away.''
Newsome broke his left (pitching) hand in the accident. That was the least of the family's problems.
''That was the least serious issue [of the accident], because Tyler saw the aftermath of it and that was the most difficult,'' said Tim Newsome, Tyler's father. ''It was the first tournament I was not able to go to.''
The funeral drew nearly 600 people and the wake almost 2,000. Jonas said it was the largest funeral he ever had attended.
Tyler has received a ton of support in the aftermath of Benny's death. The Newsomes' oldest child, Brett, a first baseman at Western Michigan, has provided his younger brother with a lot of help. Tim Newsome said Brett always has been close to his younger brothers.
''The younger ones [Tyler and Benny] always tried to outdo the older one,'' Tim Newsome said. ''[Benny and Tyler] were really close, and when my older son went to college he tried to help Benny as well.''
Tyler said the three brothers were competitive, but in a good-natured way. Benny played baseball like his older brothers, but also was in track, basketball and volleyball.
He would not have made it through the aftermath of the accident without Brett's support, or Benny's memory.
Tyler plays each game for his little brother. He knows Benny is watching, and wants to keep playing at a high level.
''If he was to look at me, I want him to approve,'' Tyler said.
Ultimate plan: Go pro
Tyler Newsome's goal is to play professionally. Tim played in the Detroit Tigers farm system and he said Tyler's work ethic is spectacular.
''He is a tremendous worker,'' Tim Newsome said. ''[Playing professionally] is one of our favorite conversations and it is one of his dreams. He has a shot at getting drafted.''
Tyler heaps praise on his father, saying he ''has been everything'' to him and taught him the game and his work ethic.
''I don't feel I have to live up to expectations because I just have the same dreams as he did,'' Newsome said.
So far the Michigan State recruit is playing some solid ball. He has been relying on an 89 mph fastball, curve, splitter and change-up. Newsome has made two starts and is 1-0 with a no-decision against Richards. He got the win against Providence, going seven innings, giving up three runs, three hits, a walk and striking out seven.
In 2006, Newsome went 8-4 with a 4.07 ERA. He pitched 59 2/3 innings, gave up 27 earned runs on 68 hits and 25 walks with 57 strikeouts.
With the bat, Newsome is just as solid. Last season, he hit .411, scored 22 runs, had 44 hits, 11 doubles, two homers and 33 RBI.
It all seemed like a perfect fit for Michigan State.
''Michigan State is a young program and it's on the rise,'' said Newsome, who chose the Spartans over Northwestern, St. John's and Alabama-Birmingham. ''I wanted to be a part of that. It's not that I never thought of playing Big Ten baseball. It was a dream, but it's more of a goal to play professionally one day.''
Jonas said Newsome soaks up information like a sponge and got his work ethic from Tim Newsome. Jonas should know. He coached Tim in high school at Curie.
Jonas also knows that even though Tyler says he keeps things in perspective and doesn't take a loss as hard as he used to, the kid is human and sometimes will let losses gnaw inside.
''He can take a loss hard, but he is such a competitor and he wants to win,'' Jonas said. ''He is just human.''
High school is sometimes a difficult time for teenagers, but losing a family member during those years makes life even more turbulent. Newsome, though, emerged from a traumatic experience with strength and dignity. He has found joy in a sport that runs in his family, and uses it to keep his brother's memory alive.
''It gets easier when time goes by,'' Newsome said. ''But I know he'll always be watching me.''
June 16, 2008
I don’t know how many of you still check the web-site regularly but if you do I’m sorry I have not updated it for a long time.
Thank you to all of you who have supported our family over the last 3 years. It’s hard to believe that’s how long it’s been since the accident. Benny would be 17 years old this August. I always think about how big and strong and handsome he’d be. Yesterday was Father’s Day and Deb, Abby and I went to the cemetery to sit for a while. It still doesn’t seem real sometimes. I wish I could say it gets easier but it doesn’t. I miss that guy more than ever and would give anything to give him one more hug and just talk to him for a minute and make sure he was OK.
As far as the rest of the family goes everyone is doing well. Brett just signed with the Washington Nationals baseball team and reported to Viera, Florida yesterday. He had a great year at St. Ambrose University and was named Honorable Mention All-American.
Tyler finished up his freshman year at Michigan State University and is playing baseball this summer for the St. Cloud River Bats in Minnesota in the Northwoods League. He was drafted by the Baltimore Orioles last year but decided to go to school instead.
Abby is going into 5th grade, WOW! She plays travel basketball for the Southside Shooters, as well as her church team and plays soccer for AYSO. She also takes gymnastics/tumbling lessons and is in an acting camp this summer where she is playing a cheerleader in a production of High School Musical (go figure!)
Deb is doing great. She is a personal trainer at Cardinal Fitness. She is staying in awesome shape and helping others to do the same. Her client’s all love her.
Thanks again to all of you who think about us and especially think about Benny. Remember to give those extra hugs at night.
June 17, 2008
It has taken me a very long time but I wanted to share this with those of you that still come to Benny’s web-site.
A year ago I finally brought myself to making the memory quilt I had planned and gave it to Deb.
The quilt grew and grew as I tried to make this ‘MEMORIES OF BEN’ quilt.
From basketball, soccer, track and baseball.
School, church, park district and traveling teams.
From some of his favorite T-shirts, the Green and White Ranger costumes.
His worn out and tattered sports quilt,
The Tasmanian Devil vest (I can’t believe I made that for him and that he wore it.)
Superman, Mr. Fantastic, The Clowns
and
‘To busting his to beat his brothers’…
B-Ball for Benny with teams ‘Jammin’ (Ty) and ‘OZ’ (Brett)
Ben will be ‘ FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS’
This quilt was made with all my love and tears and
Special help from Abby who helped me find the right shirts to use.
My hope is that in a small way it will hold wonderful memories and bring smiles to the hearts of those who see it of a GREAT young man who is missed more each day.
Love to all
Mimi
Click Here to see a picture of the Quilt.
